the other side of things...

I am feeling a bit dishonest lately....a bit guilty of showing only the rosy side of my life. Which is in fact, like everyone's life, often unrosy. Of course. For one example, the above picture shows a sweet little boy with his bear getting ready to go on an environmentally-friendly trip to his daycare. In reality, he was probably whining about having to leave the cozy, warm house and head out in the too-cold-for-early-september-morning for a windy bike ride. And though I love to cycle more than I can say, at the same time I'm sure come winter I won't feel so romantic about heading out to face head on whatever weather the day has brought.

Shall we dive straight into other topics which need some balancing words? Learning Swedish is a constantly entertaining experience, one where I can nearly feel my brain enlarging as new words enter my vocabulary through my eyes and ears and when they exit out of my mouth in confidence, the feeling is uniquely satistfying. At the same time, I wish i could read the paper without a dictionary in hand, the trouble of it causing me to give up halfway through the first paragraph of an article. I hate having to say "talar du engelska?" so often, espcially when it's something so simple like the comment of a friendly fellow dog-walker. And once they explain in nearly perfect-english (like every swede can speak) I think, "i KNEW that!" It's easy to feel left out and like even in march I still won't be able to understand the rapid, slang-infused vocabulary of people my age.

Sweden is beautiful, but in some ways not as charming as the rest of Europe. It has its industrial parts, its cars and big roads, its modern buildings and ugly space-looking houses built by modern swedish designer architects in the 70s. Sweden has a beautiful past of farms and self-sufficient living, of raising sheep, spinning wool, and masterful carpentry-work made from the bountiful forests of birches and asps. Yet in some ways it feels like Swedes today have forgotten this not so far away past and embraced head-on an identity of a modern, fashionable, industrial country. And sometimes I think I'd fit in better with the past. :) One more note on the scenery....young Swedes have a strange desire to paint graffiti on everything from the sides of buildings in cities to the otherwise cute playgrounds scattered everywhere here.

Either it is the cold weather, the consise nature of the Swedish language, or the fact that I'm comparing things to the sugary sweet hospitality of the American South, but people can initially seem a bit unfriendly here, a little standoffish. It's uncommon to get a "hej!" from a stranger sharing the same walking path as you, and I miss that daily human-interaction from even people you don't know personally.

And finally, living in another family and being a second mom is not always easy, and I often quote to myself my self-created mantra of "an au-pair's work is never done." It's hard to expect neat blocks of "on work" and "off work" time when you are living with a family who lives a typically busy, slightly crazy at times, life. And even if I wish they ate all organic food, whole grain bread, and composted more, it's not my family and one day I'll be able to make all those choices.

All in all, I love Sweden, I love my au pair family, and I want to have an open-mind about both the good and bad parts of a new land. I just felt obliged to balance my other blog posts for all you readers out there who were starting to think things were too perfect. they're not. so there.