at the request of one of my most loyal readers....

I'll write just a quick note before I head home for Christmas. My flight is leaving from Stockholm at the wee hour of 6:30, which means i'm getting up around 3 am in only a few hours. But i'm packed and have my passport handy, and it'll be nice to be tired on the flight so maybe i can sleep a bit. I could never travel so often as some business folks do, but I can't help but get that excited travel-feeling in my belly and stride through the airports feeling like i'm seeing the whole world coming and going at once. PLUS, i'm going home to my family, and this is the best feeling of all. I've been gone since the end of the summer, and i'm feeling quite ready to simply BE with the ones i love most.

December has been a busy month, and we've celebrated 3 birthdays in this house in a matter of weeks. Alexander (now 3), Hanna (50.....huge awesome surprise party), and Fredricka (sweet 16). In Sweden the birthday kid (and adult) gets an early morning delivery in bed of breakfast and presents, and everyone jumps on the bed to watch you open them. This must be the best way to celebrate, at least from a child's perspective, because there are no long waits to open the presents. :) In addition to the birthday parties, we have been visiting friends here and drinking lots of glögg (hot wine) and eating lots of pepparkakor (gingerbread cookies) and Lussekatt (saffron buns) and other swedish goodies.

Today I was delighted to attend a real Christmas smörgåsbord, called a Julbord, at a beautiful turn of the century Swedish mansion. The whole Klum family plus Erik were invited, and I have never seen such a spread of food. I can't believe i forgot the camera because it was all so gorgeous and special. There were 6 kinds of herring, 6 kinds of salmon (all with special sauces), a huge spread of sausage and ham and other meat, pickles, beet salads, potatoes cooked 10 different ways (of course!), omlettes, bread, cheese, etc, etc, and a lovely dessert spread and typically good coffee and christmas beer. We sat at a long table with candles and a view outside, and halfway through our meal a Lucia procession entered our room and we were serenaded by 6 girls with beautiful voices in white robes with red sashes and candle wreathes on their heads. Saint Lucia day was actually on the 13th, but it is a Christmas thing in general, and it was very lovely to see. Alexander was spellbound and when they left our room he kept asking for the "anglarna" (the angels) to come back!

Well, i'm off to finish the last packing details. Lots of gifts are tucked into my suitcase and other fun Swedishy things to share with family. Of course I'll miss Erik so much, and I'll miss my other favorite boy Alexander (though he's promised to call, and i can't wait to hear his little Swedish voice on the telephone). God Jul!!

snowy, sunless days sow seeds of spring-longing

Ok, i'm not sure where that little diddy came from. I think i just wanted to ryhme, because actually I'm content and mostly delighted with the winter weather here in Sweden. Typical late November weather here is cold, cloudy, rainy (with some snow), and a 3:30 sunset. December should be better, with more snow brightening the landscape and with everyone wanting to be huddled inside around candles and fireplaces anyway. On December 21st the days start getting longer instead of shorter, and i'll be ready for it. The darkness makes me sleepy and gives me low-energy, and that can be tough. And mostly I just can't wait to place little seedlings in the ground and grow a garden again.

I feel i have some rather random things to say so i'll just dive in. One is that i wanted to say a late happy birthday to the beloved Astrid Lindgren, who turned 100 a couple weeks ago. In reality she died a few years ago, but her birthday is always celebratd in Sweden and other parts of the world. She created the books about the strong-willed and strong-muscled Pippi Långstrump (Pippi Longstockings), who if you don't remember, was able to lift her horse above her head with ease. :) Pippi was a little too bold for some of the readers in the man's world of the 1940s into which she was born, yet it's not surprising that she was born in Sweden since this country is still in many ways leading the world on issues of gender equality. (They were just voted number 1 in an annual ranking by a Swiss group which evaluates countries on the basis of gender equality. In case you're interested, the top countries after Sweden were Norway, Finland, and Iceland (go Scandinavia!:) Yeman was last, and the US was 31st, after Cuba and South Africa....hmm)

Anyway, Astrid Lindgren wrote many more wonderful children's tales which are worth reading and which I myself have on my long "have to read" list.

While I'm on the topic of children's books from Sweden I want to mention the artist of the beautiful painting at the top of my blog. His name is John Bauer and he illustrated many of the fairy tales that came out of Sweden one hundred years ago, which are unsurprisingly about mostly trolls and other forest creatures. I love how literature reflects the local, simple, everyday things which are common for each place it comes from. A Swedish story about little red mushroom children who live in a blueberry forest may seem exotic to an outsider but to anyone who has walked the paths of the forests here can easily see where these writers get their ideas. :) You can see more of Bauer's painints here if you're interested: http://bauer.artpassions.net/

December looks to be an exciting month for me, with the highlight of course being my trip home on December 17th, which will last for 3 long (hopefully) weeks and be filled with family, friends, and contradancing calvin's dance shoes right off his feet. But before then comes the start of Advent on the first Sunday in December, where everyone begins to light the advent candles and perhaps open a little gift every day before christmas. On December 10th the Nobel Prize ceremony comes to the palace in Stockholm where the king and queen of sweden hand out these famous prizes and all of Sweden watches a live broadcast of the gourmet dinner and ball held afterwards. On December 13th is Lucia (i'll tell more later), and in between all this there is lots of food and sweets.

Today I went sledding with Alexander and Erik, and I felt seriously like a kid again, where you are so excited about what you're doing you never take a walking (but only running) step and you find you can't get your words of delight out of your mouth without shouting them. It was a beautiful clear day, below the freezing point, and with a lovely icy snow on the ground. Now it's dark, and i think i'll go light some candles and work on my knitting.

nordic winter arrives

Last Saturday the first significant snow fell in Uppsala, and though I hope to have at least a few, ok even just one, more slightly temperate fall day before it's cold till April, the snow was still beautiful to behold. Alexander and I have been talking constantly about "när snö kommer, ska vi lager en snögubbe!!" So we dressed ourselves warmly and built 2 snowmen outside.....they were pretty amature since we were too lazy to gather anything more than sticks for the body parts, but i'm sure we'll have plently more opportunities to improve our skills in that department. The weather has indeed been cold, and dark too. Now it's dark by 4 pm, which is quite an adjustment. I'm used to darkness signaling the end of the day, but now there is still 7+ more hours of DAY left after it gets dark before it's time to wind down, so you can't just shut down when it gets dark and quit being productive. However, candles make it cozy, and i think Swedes must go through more candles than any other country....when i walk down the street at night and glance through the windows of houses there are always candles burning at the kitchen table. And I am understanding better now why on a beautiful day, every person here heads outside to talk advantage of the sun and warmth....it's not an every-day experience.

There is still one apple tree in our garden here which is laden with apples still and putting up a worthy fight against the frosts. Erik and I have made a lot of äpplemås to freeze which will be gratefully eaten all winter in the mornings with yogurt and museli. We have been having fun lately, whether it's our daily routines or a weekend trip. He comes and plays with the kids and I often, and Alexander truly loves "ERIT!!" We read in the evenings, or he reads and I knit. I just plowed through 2 wonderful novels, Gap Creek and A Thousand Splendid Suns. The former set in rural SC 100 years ago and the latter taking place in modern day Afganistan. I highly recommend both. It's so amazing to travel the world through books and learn about different cultures and time periods. Erik and I just started a great new book together called Living Spirituality by Greg Laugherly of Swiss L'Abri. We also found a lovely international church here to attend, and it seems every Sunday there is a visiting pastor from Africa.....a couple weeks ago a man from Zimbabwe spoke, and it was hilarious to see his enthusiastic, flamboyant style translated into Swedish by a typical reserved, hands-in-his-pockets Swede. He tried his best, and it was certainly humorous. :)

Last weekend Erik and I heard an amazing concert by Anders Widmark, a pianist who takes old Swedish psalms and creates experimental jazz masterpieces out of them. We bought cheap student tickets but somehow landed on the front row, literally 8 feet from the piano and able to see every beautiful movement of his hands on the keys and see the almost pained expression on his face as he played. It was heaven for any piano-lover, and I had such a sense of the creativity that is flowing through this world and which, despite all the talk of a meaningless, random universe, seems to scream of purpose and beauty and source.

I miss all of you back home and think of you so often. In just over a month i'll be flying home for Christmas and will stay for a glorious 3 weeks. There is nothing like traveling, despite the exciting discoveries, to make one appreciate home and old relationships.

Råmjölk and Wrinkled Farmers

We (me, erik, his brother klas) went downtown sat. morning to check out a weekly market, which now that i've been i'm ashamed to have never been before! Not that it is a super steller amazing market, but it is more than i realized uppsala had, and here i've been all along....oh where oh where do i get local food....and every week the farmers were at this market. duh! anyway, it was mostly old people (interesting comparison to the US where farmer's markets are spilling over with young farmers) selling a few things on rikity tables, but i was delighted nonetheless. beets, potatoes, carrots, carved wooden butter spreaders crafted by the potato grower's barnbarn. (grandchild.....barn=child, get it?:), eggs, dried flower boquets, lots of mushrooms.....and at the end of the market's row of tables on an almost unnoticable crooked sign which i nearly walked by i read: Råmjölk. what?! raw milk in sweden? (i had just inquired about the legal status of raw milk recently and was told i'd need to go directly to the farm for an undercover transaction) i asked the wrinkled woman behind the sign how much and eagerly handed over my money. she handed me a one liter store brand carton covered in masking tape, wrapped in an old flour sack. I walked away feeling like i was carrying a very valuable, contraband substance. I loved the simplicity of the packaging....and how she felt no need to adorn her tasty milk with a fancy glass bottle or a carton with a farm logo on it. instead she reused....a step above recyling, and something we all need to do more of. (by the way, check out www.realmilk.com if you're interested in reading more about raw milk) And to finish the story, the milk was delicious, full of healthy cream, and i enjoyed the last drop this morning with my granola.

It is getting cold in Sweden, and I'm now fully realizing just how far north i am living. It snowed last week! It didn't stick, but the puddles were frozen for a few mornings last week. Brrr....although layering is fun, and i'm loving wearing striped socks atop cotton tights under a dress which is underneath 2 sweaters and a scarf.

Erik and i have been going to Hågaby (a village of sorts with solar panaled houses and a wonderful feeling of community living) every Sunday afternoon now for lunch and free music. It is wonferful and so interesting to hear how much music with southern-roots is played and loved here in Sweden. (gillian welch covers, banjos, folksy-sounds, songs with lyrics about places i know) I feel like i'm home a bit when i am there. and the food....we pay more than we normally would for this meal on sundays because it is so amazing. all ekological, homemade, vegetarian (though i think healthy meat is good for people, still, it's important to eat tons of veggies anyway) I got so full after this meal i thought i'd pop. a delicous root vegetable soup with a dollop of goat's cheese, foccacia bread with olvies and salt, a million fun salads: cooked beets with a yogurt sauce, chick peas with red onions and herbs, shredded carrot salad with seeds of all sorts, vinagered cabbage salad with feta cheese, hummus, brown rice, etc etc!

ok, time to end this. the sun is out and i feel seriously like i'm sinning when i am inside in sunny weather! klas calls erik and i "slaves of the sun" because any time it's shining, we are pulled outside and must bask in its light. so maybe we are, but with the dark, cold winter coming, we need to absorb all we can now!

the other side of things...

I am feeling a bit dishonest lately....a bit guilty of showing only the rosy side of my life. Which is in fact, like everyone's life, often unrosy. Of course. For one example, the above picture shows a sweet little boy with his bear getting ready to go on an environmentally-friendly trip to his daycare. In reality, he was probably whining about having to leave the cozy, warm house and head out in the too-cold-for-early-september-morning for a windy bike ride. And though I love to cycle more than I can say, at the same time I'm sure come winter I won't feel so romantic about heading out to face head on whatever weather the day has brought.

Shall we dive straight into other topics which need some balancing words? Learning Swedish is a constantly entertaining experience, one where I can nearly feel my brain enlarging as new words enter my vocabulary through my eyes and ears and when they exit out of my mouth in confidence, the feeling is uniquely satistfying. At the same time, I wish i could read the paper without a dictionary in hand, the trouble of it causing me to give up halfway through the first paragraph of an article. I hate having to say "talar du engelska?" so often, espcially when it's something so simple like the comment of a friendly fellow dog-walker. And once they explain in nearly perfect-english (like every swede can speak) I think, "i KNEW that!" It's easy to feel left out and like even in march I still won't be able to understand the rapid, slang-infused vocabulary of people my age.

Sweden is beautiful, but in some ways not as charming as the rest of Europe. It has its industrial parts, its cars and big roads, its modern buildings and ugly space-looking houses built by modern swedish designer architects in the 70s. Sweden has a beautiful past of farms and self-sufficient living, of raising sheep, spinning wool, and masterful carpentry-work made from the bountiful forests of birches and asps. Yet in some ways it feels like Swedes today have forgotten this not so far away past and embraced head-on an identity of a modern, fashionable, industrial country. And sometimes I think I'd fit in better with the past. :) One more note on the scenery....young Swedes have a strange desire to paint graffiti on everything from the sides of buildings in cities to the otherwise cute playgrounds scattered everywhere here.

Either it is the cold weather, the consise nature of the Swedish language, or the fact that I'm comparing things to the sugary sweet hospitality of the American South, but people can initially seem a bit unfriendly here, a little standoffish. It's uncommon to get a "hej!" from a stranger sharing the same walking path as you, and I miss that daily human-interaction from even people you don't know personally.

And finally, living in another family and being a second mom is not always easy, and I often quote to myself my self-created mantra of "an au-pair's work is never done." It's hard to expect neat blocks of "on work" and "off work" time when you are living with a family who lives a typically busy, slightly crazy at times, life. And even if I wish they ate all organic food, whole grain bread, and composted more, it's not my family and one day I'll be able to make all those choices.

All in all, I love Sweden, I love my au pair family, and I want to have an open-mind about both the good and bad parts of a new land. I just felt obliged to balance my other blog posts for all you readers out there who were starting to think things were too perfect. they're not. so there.

fall has arrived

I'm afraid I have fallen short of the aspirations I had for blogging so faithfully and reflecting so thoughtfully on my life here. But partly I feel that I really live in Sweden now, and therefore, perhaps in a good way, I no longer feel that my news is terribly exciting or worth reporting. However, I shall write a few words now and try harder to be consistent for those of you who are waiting to read something from me.

The picture shown above is not there because i have been knitting so much, but more as a representation of the strong desire I have to be knitting and hopefully as an inspiration to myself. :) There is an amazing knitting store in town called Yll och Tyll...check it out at http://www.yllotyll.com/ if you are knitter.....you'll appreciate their amazing collection of wool and tasteful hand-knitted sweaters for sale.

I am really settling into my life here, and I truly enjoy it. The days are cool now and the leaves are turning, and I'm eating apples all the time because i can't resist them when I go for walks and notice them so perfect and red lying on the ground underneath these old trees....still faithfully producing such unimprovable fruit. I started my Swedish course on Tuesday, and I'll have it twice a week in the evenings for 6 weeks. I like my class....it is a really diverse group of people from all over the world who are just as unsure of this new language on their tongue as I am, so it's a lovely unintimidating environment to learn in. Actually, my teacher asked me yesterday, "hannah, är den här kurs för let till dig?" which means "is this course too easy for you?" and i was glowing and smiling so big inside that i'm sure she must've detected how proud i felt. :) I'm staying in the class though, because it's important to learn the right things from the beginning, but I am feeling thankful for the wonderful teacher I have had the past few weeks named Alexander Klum, age 2.5. Seriously, he has taught me a lot and I am at a fun place with this language, where I notice real improvements every day and I can get away with not having to say "talar du engelska?" in every conversation with a Swede. Just a couple interesting notes on Swedish....it is a easy language for English speakers to learn because it is also Germanic and the syntax is very similar to English. Plus, the Swedes like to be concise, so phrases are short. The words for grandmother and grandfather are wonderful because there is a differentation made for your mother's mother and father's mother, for example. Mor means mother, so mormor means your mom's mom, and farmor is your dad's mom. Same with farfar and morfar. Their is also sondotter and dotterdotter to explain your grandchildren as your son's or daughter's daughter, in this case.

I've been reading a bit from the small English book sectoin of the town library, and I finally finished book 4 in the series The Emigrants by Vilhelm Moberg. If you love anything Swedish, read these books!! They tell the story of a family who emigrated from Sweden to Minnesota in the 1850s and after following this family for 4 books I feel like I practically know them and of course I shed a couple tears when......well, i won't spoil it. I just started reading How Green is my Valley about a Welsch family in the 1930s, and I still feel so lucky to be able to read fun fiction after 4 years of being an English major where you have so much to read that there's never time for your own choices.

More to come later....I hope you are enjoying this time of the changing of seasons....i think fall feels: slow, crisp, cozy.

The End of Suburbia

It struck me the other day how living outside of the US really gives one a unique perspective on it. I have another place now to compare to the American way of life, and this helps fight the tendency we all have to consider our own habits and lifestyles as the "norm" that we should always be entitled to have. This is especially important for those of us who live in developed countries and whose lifestyles are dependent on consuming as if there are no limits. Recently I started a course here in Sweden called "Global Challenges and Sustainable Futures." It has been amazing so far. The class consists of 50 students from probably 20 different countries, down to earth people who all want to learn about important issues facing us today.

We saw a film on Wednesday called The End of Suburbia: Oil Depletion and the Collapse of The American Dream, and I highly recommend it if you can find a copy at the library. A trailer for it can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHr8OzaloLM. I won't say more about it, just that you should watch it!!

This issue of stewardship, of how we treat this lovingly created world, has been on my mind a lot lately. Since the industrial revolution, we have seen nothing but growth in the direction of bigger, faster, globalized economic growth in Western countries, but I cannot believe that this lifestyle will last forever. For more reasons than the obvious one of limited sources of non-renewable energy, we need to start living on a more local level: in regards to food production, shortening our commutes to work and school, and reviving local industry which has been lost in many places when Walmart moved in. Wendell Berry writes in his essay "An Argument for Diversity:"
In a varied and versatile countryside, fragile in its composition and extremely susceptible to abuse, requiring close human care and elaborate human skills, able to produce and needing to produce a great variety of poducts from its soils, what is needed, obviously, is a highly diversified local economy.

Anyway....more on this later. let me know your thoughts!